Reddit, Solved: A wittol bit of a math problem

travisangelini posted this:

"Hello, I have been in a relationship with my beautiful wife for about a year and a half. We have a beautiful 1 year old daughter and I am in a tough spot. I have "emotionally cheated" (I know its the same as cheating now.) I am taking 100% accountability for my actions and have really learned through counseling and self healing."

Hello, Travis.  While we're glad to see that you're trying to confront the issues in your personal relationship, we here at Sex Or Television would like to talk to you about your relationship with math and human reproduction, two areas that are often mutually exclusive.  Just ask people in the math department at your local university.  Go on, we'll wait.

So you and your wife have had a relationship for a year and a half.  Okay, you might have gotten married a bit quickly, but that's far from the only issue on the table.  The real puzzler is that you have a one year old daughter, or more accurately, your wife has a one year old daughter.  

You see, Travis, it takes nine months from conception for a tiny human to appear.  Even if you and your wife conceived a child on the first date, that doesn't exactly add up, especially since you don't exactly come across as a first date fuck.  Or a third date fuck.  What we're saying is that you're not exactly a hot date, and that's already taking into account that you're as far from a math geek as is possible. Maybe alcohol.