Blog Wallowing

Since starting this blog, I've spent a lot of time wading through the sex/sexuality blogosphere. Anyone who's done this knows that it can be a mixed bag. Mixed bag may be too kind. There are more dicks hanging out than Chat Roulette. There are fascinating accounts of people's sexual lives. There are the hotwives, the cuckolds, the BDSM lifestylers, closet-cases, swingers, adult babies, hedonists, and cheaters. The whole lot form a fascinating tapestry of the complex modern sexual world.

Sometimes, you find yourself reading a blog because it's so well-written or interesting that you simply can't stop. Other times, you throw the bullshit flag and move on, realizing quickly that the person is making up a life to appear cool to the other sex bloggers. And then there are the ones that have you aghast because of the sheer awfulness of what is unfolding.

The cheaters often fall into the latter category. In nearly every cheating blog, the rationalization post is near the beginning. It's always a "don't judge me because of my actions" post. Usually those posts are gentle. Dear Husband (DH) likes sex less than I do. Dear Wife (DW) lost interest in sex after our twins were born. In some cases, though, the rationalization post is so full of nastiness and vitriol, it can't be contained in a single post. In those cases, there are typically multiple posts containing jabs at the spouse.

One of the most appalling spent more than two years tearing down her spouse. When he discovered the blog, he was upset. The blogger then decided to use it to attack her husband for not being man enough to fight for her but railing about him trying to keep an eye on her activities. Another initiated a tirade about how she's such a giver and her husband craves her attention that she looks for men just willing to pay attention to her. The post was buttressed by dozens of accounts of selfish lovers slipping in through the back door of her house to get blow jobs and then slipping out. One claimed his wife didn't like sex, and later added that the reason he cheated was that their sex life went downhill after she was diagnosed with cancer and failed to account for his sexual needs.

Many cited a spouse who traveled too much for work as a reason for cheating. One, after several affairs complained that her spouse was just not motivated like the "alpha males" she was fucking and convinced him to start his own company, which took up much of his time, that she used to justify sleeping with even more guys.

I had originally intended to put links in this post, but I started it just over a year ago. Since then, nearly all of the ones referenced have gone dormant or disappeared. A few hinted that their divorce attorneys wanted them stopped. Others referenced getting caught. These blogs seem to have a lifespan of about 18 months. New ones are always cropping up, so anyone seeking to wallow I as did should mosey over to Google. New infidelity blogs seem to crop up just as fast as they collapse, so there's no rush.

What ultimately amazes me is that so many of these cheating blogs are so short-lived, and yet, many more get added. It's one thing to fuck around on a partner. It happens. Life is messy. To create an on-line persona around it and document at length how inadequate your partner is in comparison with your lovers is something else entirely. It's the deepest hurt one can add. Piling on cheap justification doesn't make it better; it only makes it more selfish. In the mean time, these blogs get discovered and the lawyers get involved. Is there any good in it all?