What I learned from SlutWalk and Big Freedia

(X-posted from School For Scandal)

This was a helluva weekend- SlutWalk on Saturday, and a Big Freedia show on Sunday. For the unacquainted, Big Freedia is an incredible Transgendered "Bounce" rapper from New Orleans- a genre of music almost exclusively dedicated to shaking your ass. The mostly white, hipster crowd at the Do-Division Street Festival didn't quite know what to make of the glorious Queen Diva and her crew of rump shaking dancers, but before long, an ass-shaking dance-off was going down on stage.

So here's the thing. People- all kinds of people of all genders and colors, are on stage, doing incredibly lewd, sexy dancing- bent over, humping the stage, flashing panties and boobs as a self proclaimed "dick eater" spurs them on with a chant of "AZZ EVERYWHERE, AZZ EVERYWHERE!"

Is it sexy? Damn right. Are they showing off for attention? Of course. Are they only doing it for the attention? Maybe some of them are, but I suspect a lot of them are doing it because it FEELS GOOD.

Is it exploitation? Not really, going on stage is totally optional, anyone who wants to dance can dance and no one can tell them not to, and they dance because it's fun. Is it "Girls Gone Wild?" Not really, unless GGW had a "queer multicultural edition with occasional stretchmarks, cellulite and hairy armpits."

Nevertheless, there's a whole lot of scantily clad ass and crotches in the air. So what makes Big Freedia show different from your average hip hop video? It's the fact that the dancers are doing it for themselves. They are taking pleasure in the fact that shaking your ass does feel good, and it feels AWESOME to do it in public if you feel like you're not going to get raped/groped/harassed for doing it.

And yes, I shook my ass, and yes, I roamed around the street fair in a pink teeshirt, a pair of hot pink tights, motorcycle boots and black ruffle butt panties during and after the Big Freedia show. Because I feel awesome and sexy when I wear this kind of outfit in a place where I feel safe. I felt safe because I've got a big strong body, a confident kick ass attitude, friends by my side, and I was in a place where I knew harassment would not be tolerated. (And as soon as I left, I put my skirt back on, because I didn't feel safe outside of the confines of the event. Reality bites.)

To give an analogy: it's the difference between me kissing a girl at a gay bar vs. a straight bar. If I kiss a girl in a gay bar, nobody cares. It's a safe space to enjoy myself in this way. However, if I kiss a girl in a straight bar, all of a sudden men come out of the woodwork, wanting to take pictures, propositioning a threesome, staring, etc. The problem here is not that I enjoy kissing girls sometimes. I shouldn't stop kissing girls when I want to because it "asks for trouble." The problem is if I kiss a girl at a bar where an uneducated straight man thinks that I'm kissing a girl to entertain or titillate him (and to be fair, some girls DO but this should never be the automatic assumption), instead of doing it for my own pleasure, and assumes it's an invitation to harassment. Even if a couple of straight girls are making out with the sole intention of turning on straight dudes, it shouldn't be taken as blanket consent for creepy behavior.

My friend K. put it pretty succinctly when she said "the creepers ruin it for the gentlemen." As long as creepers are creeping, ALL straight men are going to run up against Schrodinger's Rapist.

So here's the thing.

A lot of people told me that I shouldn't dress sexy for SlutWalk. "Well, of course you can if you want to," they said. "But do you really want to enforce the notion that this is about titillation, and detracting from the anti-rape message of the rally?"

UGH, you're missing the point.

Don't get me wrong- I think everyone should wear what makes them feel comfortable, and I don't feel that dressing sexy is a requirement for SlutWalk at all. But you're just bad as that notorious Toronto policeman if you tell me "Don't dress slutty (AT FUCKING SLUTWALK!) because you'll attract the wrong kind of attention."

As a teenager, my mom discouraged me from wearing tight clothes, red lipstick, etc. because I looked old for my age and she didn't want me to attract the "wrong kind of attention." I know her heart was in the right place and she just wanted me to be safe. But it is only through questioning the idea that I must hide my beauty, my sexiness, and my spirit from others that I have found confidence and self love. If I'm gonna wear sweats, it's because I'm feeling lazy, not because I want to hide my fabulous ass (and trust me honey, nothing really succeeds in hiding my ass). As a grown woman, I'll wear a tight skirt if I damn well please. As a curvy woman, my body is OBJECTIFIED no matter what I wear. Nothing short of a burlap sack will hide my breasts, and I refuse to wear a burlap sack. I will take control of my sexuality and my appearance and wear what turns ME on. Being a woman in a sex negative society is never "safe" regardless of what you wear, but I refuse to be ruled by fear.

How often am I allowed to walk down the street in Downtown Chicago in a super short rainbow minidress and gartered fishnet stockings and feel TOTALLY SAFE AND CONFIDENT AND FREE? I am sure that some people considered what I wore to Slutwalk to be "slutty" but it was hardly playboy bunny gear, and as a fat girl, baring my thighs in public feels like an awesome fuck you to a culture that wants me to believe I am undesirable when we know it just AIN'T TRUE. I don't mind being looked at, flirted with, whatever as long as it is done in a way that is respectful and consensual. And Slutwalk gave me a glimpse of what society would be like if I could wear whatever I damn pleased without thinking "will this get me harassed if I wear it in public." And it was a DAMN GOOD feeling.



My point here, is the problem isn't shaking your booty for a crowd, or showing your thighs in public. It's the idea that doing these things means you're "asking" to be violated. So honestly, I think the MORE we create safe, inclusive spaces do these things that make us feel good (and no judgement if you don't enjoy dressing scanty and lascivious dancing- it ain't for everyone) the more we are moving away from rape culture and towards a sex positive culture where we can do what FEELS GOOD- even if it's *gasp* SEXY- without fear of shame, assault, or humiliation.

Slutwalk Chicago DIY Poster Contest: Yr Doing It Wrong

(This article also appears on School for Scandal)

So, I'm pretty stoked about SlutWalk Chicago.

For the uninitiated, Slutwalk is an international feminist movement that began in Toronto, that promotes dissolution of "Rape Culture" by emphasizing that men should be taught NOT TO RAPE instead of all the emphasis on teaching women how to "protect themselves from rapists" with advice ranging from don't wear a ponytail, don't go out alone at night, and most horrifying "don't dress like a slut," the comment that sparked the movement in the first place.
This sort of mindset teaches women to view themselves as "victims waiting to happen" (reminds me of that horrible "potentially pregnant" fracas a few years ago.) I think that self defense education for women is important, but so is anti-rape education for EVERYONE.

All around awesome chick Diamanda Galas once said something along the lines of "Women need to stop thinking like prey and starting thinking like predators," and I think that's what SlutWalk is all about. Driving home the point that even if you're walking down the street in a G string and lucite heels, it doesn't mean you "deserve" to be raped. Nobody should be blamed for their sexual assault. Our culture needs to shift in a way that rape is never considered ok, and that there is more support and less victim blaming and stigmatization of survivors.

The following is a list of things that SlutWalk aren't about (to my understanding):

1. Reclaiming "slut" as a positive label or celebrating "slut pride"

2. Dressing/acting "slutty" in public Girls Gone Wild style (participants are encouraged to wear whatever they feel comfortable in, whether that's a mini skirt or sweatpants)

3. Speaking out against labeling women as sluts. (Well, this one is a gray area because of #1. I think this movement is very anti-slut shaming but not necessarily dismissive of positive sluthood and general sex positivity. But people are still wildly divided on whether or not being called slut is a good thing, and I don't think SlutWalk is intended as a debate on the validity of the slut label.)

None of the above are necessarily bad things and possibly incidental to this event, but I don't think they should be the emphasized in promoting this event. I think a lot of people misunderstand the purpose of this event because "slut" is such a loaded word. That's why I'm a little perturbed by the results of the SlutWalk DIY Poster Contest.

I feel bad picking apart the entries, because to be fair, I DIDN'T enter a design. And it's unfair for me to criticize the works of people who did, because they took the time and effort and put themselves out there, but I do feel like I need to speak out when images seem inappropriate/problematic to the aims of a movement I am a part of. I realize this is my subjective opinion, and if you want to argue WHY you think these posters are great, be my guest as long as you are willing keep dialogue open and respectful.

I will not be reposting images here, but you can click here to see them. I like the idea of a DIY poster contest instead of hiring an ad firm, but I am sad to say that I feel like the majority of these posters miss the point of SlutWalk entirely, and some are just flat out creepy to me.

Of the ten submissions, six feature sexualized images of women's bodies where you cannot see her face. With one exception, they are pictures of extremely thin "conventionally attractive" white women. Four are of women with their lingerie-clad asses in sexually available positions, two ONLY show the ass and no other part of the woman, with catchy taglines like "I think you're sexy but I don't want to rape you," and "Slut Yeah Fuck Yeah." I might be ok with pictures of a sexy REAL people where you could see faces as well as bodies, but these pictures appear to be lifted from mainstream advertising/pornography and I suspect that other people might find them alienating/triggering as well.

I am saying all this as sex positive feminist who loves porn, lingerie, and copious fucking. I don't currently identify as a slut, but I have in the past. I probably will wear something sexy to Slut Walk, because I enjoy dressing up. All this said, these posters leave a bad taste in my mouth. This imagery might make *some* sense if the event was actually focused on "slut pride" instead of rape prevention, but instead I see a feminist movement getting the American Apparel treatment, and it bugs me.

The other side of the coin is a poster that says "Don't call me a slut/other perjorative implying promiscuity" (which flies in the face of the women who do self-identify as sluts, and I don't believe SlutWalk strives to takes a hard stance either way.) Another poster features yet another headless woman in a demure, girlish powder blue dress clutching daisies (it's objectification of a different flavor) with the catchphrase: "Virgin or Slut? Love Who You Are." I understand the positive message that the slogan is trying to convey, but it falls down the Madonna/Whore rabbit hole all over again. Many of us fall outside of that limited dichotomy altogether.

This is about the only poster that I feel accurately represents SlutWalk, so it got my vote. I confess I am let down by the way entrants chose to interpret the meaning of SlutWalk (especially since the movement has been so distorted by the media already) and I hope the winning entry will accurately reflect a movement of women who don't necessarily wish to be labeled in black and white as hyper-sexualized "sluts" or sex-negative "prudes", but complex human beings committed to creating a culture without rape.