Frustrated

I've been meaning to update this blog all week about a host of topics.  Annoying asexual activism!  Lady Gaga's super-hot drag king alter-ego!  The blog wankstorm around the rape in George R. R. Martin's Game of Thrones! The very last days of "Don't Ask Don't Tell"!

But instead all I can do is masturbate furiously and then pity myself for the sad state of affairs for this overseas slut.

See, the Boy and I are now living in Europe, in a non-English speaking country.  So not only did we move away from the one or two semi-sort-of-reliable sex partners we had, but we're now in a situation where it's much harder to find new ones.  I mean, it's true that most people here do speak some English, but negotiating communication with potential sex partners is difficult enough when you both speak the same language.  And I haven't learned to say "fuckbuddy" in German yet.

But wait!  I am getting some semblance of a social life here, with other English-speaking expats.  Many of them single and fine and flirty.  Problem is, the expat community here is very incestuous and unsurprisingly tied to the equally incestuous community of Americans the Boy works with.  As I've mentioned before, we're not "out" about being open or queer, due to complications with the Boy's job.  It might be fine, but there's a lot of arbitrary decision-making when it comes to who the U.S. Government chooses to employ and we don't feel comfortable taking that risk.

So what happens is this: I go to an event.  Get chatted up by cute boys.  They ask why I'm here.  I have to say, "Well my husband got a job..." and right away, it's done.  Sure they'll keep chatting with me a few more minutes to be polite, but most of these guys are obviously out and about to get laid.  They hear the "H" word and they assume I'm not.  Stupid assumptions! But that's awfully hard to communicate without letting the entire ex-pat community know about our, uh, arrangement.   

Back in the Bay Area, there's a million websites and events and groups for people like us.  Hell, we'd only begun to scratch the surface of the various kinky and non-monogamous scenes while we were there.  And while I'm sure there is something similar here for the natives, I have no idea how to access those places, or if I did, if being a foreigner who can't speak the language would be realistic.

Woe is me!

So.  Frustrated.  It doesn't help that my libido is just in complete overdrive this week, which is bizarre, because it was dead last week when I was ovulating.  MAKE SENSE, BODY.  And of course the Boy is working nights, leaving me lonely and bored and quickly wearing out the motor on my one voltage converter to run my 110v Wahl Coil vibe, which quickly overheats and shuts down and then I realize I forgot to charge the Lelo and Jesus fucking Christ, I know this is the embodiment of first world problems but I feel a little sorry for myself.  

I was hoping to get some at least some Internet-based action when an e-friend back in the states confessed his crush, but I don't think he's really interested in that.  And all I want is some action.

The good news is the Boy is off for the next four nights.  The bad news is he's caught a cold and feels wretched, and family comes to visit in a few days for a month.  Cry for me, Internet.